Total technical failure in hyperspace: STAR WARS Jedi: Survivor and the unbearable bug attack as a fraud on the customer

Actually, a more detailed game review was supposed to be published here today, but I decided against it in the end. Because even though I had already invested several hours, I cannot justify pretending that everything runs so smoothly that it can be objectively benchmarked and evaluated. As this once again confirms the trend of knowingly offering customers unfinished and poorly thought-out games at full price, there will be no conventional review, which would also imply that it might not be so bad after all. But this is already the second game after Redfall that I bought but had to discard as a test. I will simply no longer give such games a platform, even if some may see it differently.

Today’s article also shows once again how important it is to actually buy the games yourself and not have them given to you by the publishers. This way, you ultimately judge much more emotionally and also more from the perspective of the defrauded end consumer. And I was fair enough to wait for patches and test multiple systems. None of that helped. And yes, this is a pue editorial, so it’s my own, very subjective opinion and makes no claim to universal validity.

What kind of PC do you actually have to own to at least get this “game” to run? Both test systems (Ryzen 9 7950X3D and Core i9-13900K) with 32 GB DDR5 6000 each and two extremely fast NVMe SSDs as well as a GeForce RTX 4090 failed miserably. Here, the game already dies before the player after a few minutes or even seconds of gameplay. On a slightly older system of my 11-year-old son with an Intel Core i9-11900k, a Radeon RX 6750XT and 16 GB DDR4 4000, I could at least play for a good hour until the card ran out of memory and I ran out of steam and the game took the shortes way directly to the desktop. A sign from the god of games to stop wasting my valuable time? For sure.

Loading times, hangs and crashes – it couldn’t be worse

The loading times are reminiscent of Jabba the Hutt’s sluggish reaction speed and drag on as if they were frozen in carbonite. It’s like waiting for a star destroyer to launch, only to find that it’s still on dry dock. And what is all this for? Every game start becomes a test of patience after the preceding crash. You really don’t have to put up with this anymore, and certainly not at full price. Why game files have to be “optimized” at every start, only the holy “building shader” of TLOU1 knows. By the way, I would even wait an hour if the whole game would be optimized at the same time. But EA is unfortunately not responsible for wishes.

The performance is as bad as the shooting skills of the Stormtroopers, no matter which PC you own. The frame rate drops regularly (if you don’t crash at least once), turning the game into an almost unplayable slideshow, while the sound stutters and creaks as if a Wookiee is trying to fix a droid. Things like FSR even have to be enabled, because without it the resolution decreases (instead of increases) and it even crashes with notice on NVIDIA graphics cards. A tease and all…

These crashes are so frequent that you’d think it was a feature and not a flaw. Instead of drawing us into the spell of the Star Wars universe, the game keeps throwing you out of it and making us desperately reach for a lightsaber (which, unfortunately, is just out of reach) to relieve our frustration. The on-screen display is flawed often enough to remind me of the lights on a broken X-Wing cockpit. Or to cut a long story short: A crash like this has something of a predestination to just not play the game and not ruin your day even more.

And when it does run: The frame rate is as inconsistent as the weather in England, regularly smearing as if it were trying to break the free-fall record. Instead of providing a smooth gaming experience, you are confronted with vicious judder and stuttering, as if it were the actual (and only) constant in the game that had to be maintained. Moreover, UE 4 lags far behind the standards of 2023. Instead, we can partially expect a visual performance reminiscent of the days of LEGO Star Wars – but without the charm and also as flat as the old jokes of Fips Asmussen. If anyone still knows him. But you don’t have to. Yes, the crisp textures could pull it out, if they didn’t tear down the memory at the same time.

The menus and user interfaces are as confusing as the politics in the Galactic Republic. Navigating through settings and options feels like being trapped in the maze of a Death Star without a nice R2-D2 to help us along. Who would ever think of using an extra connected controller to navigate the convoluted menu? Well, you can use the space bar (select menu item) and A or D (scroll left and right), but you’ll have to figure that out first. Arrow keys are completely overrated and especially useless, if you believe the usual forums, I’m still the creative exception, which is not too bad for anything and messes around until you are called for the fourth time for supper. Others have not managed it at first, but then they were at least full. Cardboard full.

 

The console curse and a cost-optimized, cheap port

The controls are inadequately adapted, so that one wonders whether the developers have ever owned a PC themselves. The keyboard and mouse support seems like a bad joke, so that you always and constantly catch yourself looking longingly at the controller that has been put away and wondering whether you shouldn’t pick it up again. Instead of taking advantage of the hardware of proper PCs and letting you immerse yourself in the fascinating world of ultra HD graphics, you are sent to a virtual torture rack where bugs call the shots. Clipping? Never heard of it.

The controls are poorly adapted, making you wonder if the developers ever owned a PC themselves. The keyboard and mouse support seems like a bad joke, so you always and constantly find yourself looking longingly at the controller you put away and wondering if you shouldn’t pick it up again. Instead of taking advantage of the hardware of proper PCs and immersing you in the fascinating world of Ultra HD graphics, you’re sent on a visual journey through time where bugs and blurry textures rule the roost. Clipping? Never heard of it.

 

The one hour I was able to play through once on the abundantly slow system wasn’t a revelation either. The game’s story was supposed to take you into a new era of Jedi, but instead of captivating me with exciting adventures for 70 Euros, it feels like you’re living through a long-winded, uninspired fan fiction. Instead of making bold choices, the game clings to old familiar patterns and robs the plot of any surprise or depth. The characters are as flat as the surface of Tatooine and leave me barely comprehending the tragedy of their fate.

On top of that, the gameplay is lame. The lightsaber battles are unfortunately anything but exciting and the Force abilities have been implemented so poorly that they feel more like a nuisance than a powerful tool. The enemy AI seems to come straight out of an older, primitive galaxy, often making battles feel monotonous and predictable. The level designs and worlds that buyers and players are asked to explore could hardly be more unimpressive. Instead of taking you through breathtaking scenery, you’re treated to lovelessly designed environments that look as unimaginative and flat as if a Stormtrooper drew them in his sleep. The repetitive design makes you look at the clock again and again, hoping that the game will end soon or finally crash again. At least the latter is 100 percent reliable. After all.

Overall, STAR WARS Jedi: Survivor is a technical fiasco that torments players with a seemingly endless list of bugs, crashes and performance problems. It’s as if the Emperor himself has put his dark force on the game to make it a frustrating experience. May the next patch be with us soon. Otherwise it won’t be anything, because the first patch rather makes everything worse than it helps in any way. To put it in a nutshell: As a buyer who paid for the game himself out of his own money, I feel completely cheated by the publisher. You have to put it that drastically, unfortunately, because it seems to be slowly becoming a method. Only I don’t put up with such digital garbage and try to get rid of this rotten crash plague again. Who still buys this now, is really his own fault.